going thru a serious depression stage... heart has aches

bac home

welp... im back @ home (finally). haha - funny i called tallahassee home. anyways, my family is now moving to chicago, dad is already there, mom's still in booty ass hebron getting the house on the market and stuff. we're becoming nomads - seriously. however chi town has always been a city I wana end up in once im grown and on my own. so many places to shop, so many things to do! im kinda excited, its like having a definate vacation spot. lol.

readii for school to start. readii to jus see people and be on campus and get back to how college is suppose to feel. sum1 is trying to convince me to transfer next year - and believe it or not it's been heavy in my thoughts. there are some things about the hassee and some people that i love, and would miss ooooh so much, but theres also something that's really holding me down/back n i almost feel like running from it sometimes. how weak would I be to do that tho?? Or do i jus wana change in scenery?? Im sure i'll get a comment from sum1 when they read this.. lol...

got a 95 on my 1,932 word paper and a definate A in the class.. :: sigh of relief ::.. feels good!

walmart is absolutely the best place to shop for groceries. i just got like a month' supply of drinks(coke,tahitian treat, 12 pack of orangade,cherry limeade,24 water), bread. chicken. ground beef. ham. eggs. bacon. green beans. some stoufer's skillets (yummi). and cereal - all onli came to $38. thats amazing.. u kno how long that can feed me??? much longer than 7 trips to mcdonalds that would equal the same amount. anyways - jus wana give ups to walmart for doin the damn thing.one day, there will only be one store that exists, that everybody goes to cuz they done put ere1 else outta business. the name, will be..... walmart!

my house is a hotel @ the moment. 2 guests and a dog.. haha i haven't even slept at 'home' yet.. amazing... im out

im back to updating.. (i think). this past year of school has been interesting and above all a HUGE learning experience. i feel like i've had my time to adjust and now its really time to get busy. time to get (more) serious about my school work. time for me to get involved with the school. time for me to branch out and meet new people. time for me to make myself a better person and stop catering to everyone that surrounds me.

i've been in cincinnati for the past three weeks straight bored. @ first i tried to make it seem alrite and say- hey.. it'll jus be time for me to think n get my head together. well.. all i've done is think about gettin back to jacksonville/tally. i must admit - jville is no longer my home. i wanted to hold on to it and had hopes of frequently visiting and all that.. but now i really don't feel comfortable anymore with staying there a long time, let alone more than a weekend. i know im welcomed, but it jus isn't 'home'. there entire time im there jus feels like a lay-over til i got to where im suppose to be. up here in cinncy i don't know anybody and since we live out of the city in the suburbs its nothing but developing families where I live - all white and each having like three kids between the ages of 3 and 5. and i am not exaggerating. and they all have a dog. theres nothing!! to do.. nobody!! to see.. nowhere!! to go... kinda hard to go from tally to hebron

besides being miserable - me n my ma are coming to jax for two weeks, then i'll be back up here for a week. we're going to run a program for a friend in the school systems - its a bit of a relief. atleast thats two less weeks that i have to spend couped up in this house.

i get my braces off august 7th.. but since im going to jax for these two weeks imma try to get that done now. :0)  thats another thing that will cut down on my trips to jax. besides that, only appt in jax left is my yearly and dental. thats a max of two required trips. tally is becoming my home - scary, very scary

my relationship - well - most days its good. most nites its bad. lol... nuff said bout that. yesterday made 7 months since we first started talkin. and made 2 official months since we decided to do the damn thing.

i want a dog.